Over a decade ago, I sat alone on the wooden floor of my bedroom. It was quiet and I gazed at the sunlight dappling on the floor in ways I had never noticed before. I watched with amusement, a big smile filling me while I kept an eye on the window overlooking the front lawn. I had a special present coming for my birthday and the delivery truck was scheduled to arrive anytime.
My bedroom was cleared out, the floors swept and fresh new linens had been washed and folded waiting for my new bed to arrive. Although I was single and unmarried, I had chosen a king size bed at the store at the last minute. The bedroom mock up on the showroom floor usually features a king size bed to encourage the purchase of the largest model, complete with matching dressers and side tables. Stylists and professional merchandisers at the store had made the bed up with striped linens like a hotel piled with rows of pillows and shams and accent pillows all designed to draw you into dreams of resting in this luxurious bedroom set in your own home.
For me, the plush bedding did not draw me in; it was the size of the bed that stopped me in my tracks. The prospect of buying the biggest bed available for me, just one person, made me smile, laugh even, because to an outsider, it could appear to be ridiculous decision. To an onlooker, it might appear to be too indulgent, or even wasteful to get the largest size mattress, but I wanted it both for now and for the future. I chose the oversized bed because I pictured myself laying in it and sleeping, knowing it would be a physical reminder to pray and ask God to fill it with a husband and babies. I wanted to lay in the hope of prayers for my heart’s desires to be met, to have a bed full of kids with cuddles and laughter punctuated with kisses. The bed I wanted was not piled high with luxurious linens, but with genuine love instead. I longed for a husband to share my life and faith with, to laugh together and snuggle in close when I would tell him how I had prayed for him years before when I ordered the largest bed in the store knowing God would fill it.
A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul. Proverbs 13:19
This afternoon our three towheads piled into bed with me for a quick afternoon nap. At the announcement of rest time, they raced to the giant bed and filled it with giggles and squirms, jockeying for position right next to me. Resting seems impossible with so much activity before naptime, but eventually, they settle in to rest below the ceiling fan, cooled behind darkened curtains to keep out the daylight. We burrow in with arms and legs flopped this way and that, just to be nearer to each other. I sing and rub backs and the tops of heads of our trio, now ages 8, 6 and 6. I smile wide as I sing softly, sighing and looking down across the disheveled heap of sheets to see how deep and wide the love of God is (Ephesians 3:18-19).
For I know the plans I have for you,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.
Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you
seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
Plea for A.S.A.P.
After years of praying, God is still answering my pleas for a full bed and a full
heart. The acronym, A.S.A.P. is ‘As Sure as Promised’ in God’s economy and he
is still at work. I turn and see Mark’s picture at the bedside overlooking our
brood, even while he is away at his office. He is surely smiling, too. When he
is home, he banishes the kids to their own bedrooms claiming that he indeed had
me first. He claims our bed for us and sends the kids racing to their rooms,
stumbling over each other with roars of laughter at the threat of the Tickle Monster
who will soon follow if they do not get to their own beds fast enough.
My bed and my life are full; I get to bask in the true luxury of that blessing
each day. What a gracious gift to have such a tangible reminder that God has
been working for my good all along.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.